Im scared to death!!! Wanted to be in bed 1 1/2 hours ago and I'm still not ready. I'm gonna finish things up and TRY to sleep... I'm sooooo scared!!!! Who'da thought someone 7 pounds could scare me to death??? I can't wait to meet her tho :)
This is my last blog as the Pregnant Chick.. My next blog will be as Mommy.
BYE!!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday Update and the PLAN :)
Well... I dunno if anyone reads this.. SO I guess I'll make yet another update just in case someone actually reads! HAHA...
Went to my appointment this morning.. they did my biophysical profile ultrasound (I have atleast one a week!)... and Baby V was bouncy and doing well! She did her practice breaths fine and the umbilical cord blood pressure was good.
They took measurements today since the doc pretty much assumed we'd be inducing this week anyways... Baby V is about 7 pounds now (just short of 7) but that is just a guestimate! and she's still measuring behind developmentally wise but I think only like a week behind or something (not positive on that).. but shes now in the 32nd percentile (50 percentile is ideal) but she went from the 9th, to the 8th, to the 23rd or something? then to the 32nd so shes doing good!!!! (Percentile means shes bigger then 32% of fetuses her age)
Stacy, my ultrasound tech said baby seems LONG! Her head is WAY low and her butt is WAY high.. and her job is just ultrasounds so I'm sure she knows what she's looking at! But, I am 5'10 and I guess on mom's side I have uncles who are like 6'7!!! (mom is adopted!)... So I'm hoping shes tall just for the fact that her carseat has 2 settings in size and not 3, so if shes short she might be too short for her car seat and thats one more thing for me to worry about :P hahhahah. WORRY WORT.. seriously!
So FINALLY i saw my OB.. Seriously this is the longest wait to see her ever! Usually I'm in there within like 15 minutes, but today I think it was about 45 minutes and I REALLY wanted to see her cuz I wanted to know what we were gonna do.. so I was very impatient and I'm getting quite big so its really uncomfortable to sit there.. I felt like I couldnt breathe!
Doc came in and asked "so are we inducing this week?" and I said YES. haha.. I really wanted her born on the 7th cuz thats my lucky number and hey, if I can pick a date why not get a number i want HAHA.. but she asked "tuesday or thursday" and I chickened out and said thursday (the 9th) WHich is Barbara's bday and cousin Jeremy's bday! hahah.. So we'll add another one to the list i guess!
I have to be there at 5am on thursday morning! I SO DONT DO MORNINGS! HAHAHAAH... I hate the hospital but I was kinda hoping to be admitted the night before so I'm already there in the morning! Sounds dumb i know.. So we gotta leave here by 4:30am to get there on time.. I dont know if its better to wake up the last minute and just GO or get up early and wake myself up and be nervous for who knows how long! hahah
I'm thankful I have some Ambien from before pregnancy (just found out I could have been taking it this whole time!) hahah.. but I'm definately taking one the night before so maybe I'll get a good nights sleep! Who knows!!
I am quite progressed on my own, so the doc said I may not even make it to thursday! She said baby's really like to come once an induction has been scheduled too! hahah.. Hopefully she'll just hold off till thursday.. itll make life easier i guess.
Oh, and the baby is facing my spine (Like she's supposed to be!) We learned in class when they're facing the other way you get back labor and thats supposed to hurt a lot! So she seems to be doing everything right on her end :) Good Girl! hahah..
I am going to take the epidural tho.. Kinda disappointing but the doc said shes going to have to break my water more then likely and with the pitocin, its going to be more painful then if I were to go into labor naturally! So she said I can have the epidural right when i get there if i want (im progressed enough on my own)... So I think I'm just gonna give in and have it! Why be in pain if I dont have to be especially if I'll probably give in to the epidural anways.. might as well take it from the get-go! Just not thrilled about having a big ol' needle in my back! ugh!
The doc expects to have a baby by 5pm.. so we'll see what happens!!
I dont know about visitors.. I dont really want a visitor during labor, thats for sure. I told the nurses no visitors and no phone calls during labor. And after she's born I'll just have to see how I feel. I'm thinking maybe the next day would be best? I dunno.. Kevin will be making phone calls once shes born and I'm sure I'll know more about how i feel then and he can tell people its okay to come down or to wait or whatever!
So HOPEFULLY NO C-SECTION! And hopefully I'll be released Saturday evening from the hospital.. but I doubt we'll be up for Easter with the family.. but ya never know!
We went to babies r us tonight and I bought her a "my first Easter" onesie and I bought "What to expect the first year" and I bought "babies first year Calendar".. WooHoo HAHA...
My headache wont leave (from last night) I think its a caffeine headache.. and I have nothing but tylenol to take :( so I'm dealing with that, plus being scared to death, and being freaked out by everything.. Kevin is just happy as can be.. I'm like OMG KILL ME! hahhaah
I'll be glad when she's in my arms and this is over with so I dont have to be scared anymore! hahha.. I wish her room was TOTALLY finished.. (its not!) UGH.. hopefully wednesday we'll get it finished up atleast more then it is now! Its all the decorative fun part that needs to be done but I Just dont have the energy to get it done on my own.. and kevin is a boy so decorative parts arent important to him!
So thats where we stand!!! SO SCARED! :P
Went to my appointment this morning.. they did my biophysical profile ultrasound (I have atleast one a week!)... and Baby V was bouncy and doing well! She did her practice breaths fine and the umbilical cord blood pressure was good.
They took measurements today since the doc pretty much assumed we'd be inducing this week anyways... Baby V is about 7 pounds now (just short of 7) but that is just a guestimate! and she's still measuring behind developmentally wise but I think only like a week behind or something (not positive on that).. but shes now in the 32nd percentile (50 percentile is ideal) but she went from the 9th, to the 8th, to the 23rd or something? then to the 32nd so shes doing good!!!! (Percentile means shes bigger then 32% of fetuses her age)
Stacy, my ultrasound tech said baby seems LONG! Her head is WAY low and her butt is WAY high.. and her job is just ultrasounds so I'm sure she knows what she's looking at! But, I am 5'10 and I guess on mom's side I have uncles who are like 6'7!!! (mom is adopted!)... So I'm hoping shes tall just for the fact that her carseat has 2 settings in size and not 3, so if shes short she might be too short for her car seat and thats one more thing for me to worry about :P hahhahah. WORRY WORT.. seriously!
So FINALLY i saw my OB.. Seriously this is the longest wait to see her ever! Usually I'm in there within like 15 minutes, but today I think it was about 45 minutes and I REALLY wanted to see her cuz I wanted to know what we were gonna do.. so I was very impatient and I'm getting quite big so its really uncomfortable to sit there.. I felt like I couldnt breathe!
Doc came in and asked "so are we inducing this week?" and I said YES. haha.. I really wanted her born on the 7th cuz thats my lucky number and hey, if I can pick a date why not get a number i want HAHA.. but she asked "tuesday or thursday" and I chickened out and said thursday (the 9th) WHich is Barbara's bday and cousin Jeremy's bday! hahah.. So we'll add another one to the list i guess!
I have to be there at 5am on thursday morning! I SO DONT DO MORNINGS! HAHAHAAH... I hate the hospital but I was kinda hoping to be admitted the night before so I'm already there in the morning! Sounds dumb i know.. So we gotta leave here by 4:30am to get there on time.. I dont know if its better to wake up the last minute and just GO or get up early and wake myself up and be nervous for who knows how long! hahah
I'm thankful I have some Ambien from before pregnancy (just found out I could have been taking it this whole time!) hahah.. but I'm definately taking one the night before so maybe I'll get a good nights sleep! Who knows!!
I am quite progressed on my own, so the doc said I may not even make it to thursday! She said baby's really like to come once an induction has been scheduled too! hahah.. Hopefully she'll just hold off till thursday.. itll make life easier i guess.
Oh, and the baby is facing my spine (Like she's supposed to be!) We learned in class when they're facing the other way you get back labor and thats supposed to hurt a lot! So she seems to be doing everything right on her end :) Good Girl! hahah..
I am going to take the epidural tho.. Kinda disappointing but the doc said shes going to have to break my water more then likely and with the pitocin, its going to be more painful then if I were to go into labor naturally! So she said I can have the epidural right when i get there if i want (im progressed enough on my own)... So I think I'm just gonna give in and have it! Why be in pain if I dont have to be especially if I'll probably give in to the epidural anways.. might as well take it from the get-go! Just not thrilled about having a big ol' needle in my back! ugh!
The doc expects to have a baby by 5pm.. so we'll see what happens!!
I dont know about visitors.. I dont really want a visitor during labor, thats for sure. I told the nurses no visitors and no phone calls during labor. And after she's born I'll just have to see how I feel. I'm thinking maybe the next day would be best? I dunno.. Kevin will be making phone calls once shes born and I'm sure I'll know more about how i feel then and he can tell people its okay to come down or to wait or whatever!
So HOPEFULLY NO C-SECTION! And hopefully I'll be released Saturday evening from the hospital.. but I doubt we'll be up for Easter with the family.. but ya never know!
We went to babies r us tonight and I bought her a "my first Easter" onesie and I bought "What to expect the first year" and I bought "babies first year Calendar".. WooHoo HAHA...
My headache wont leave (from last night) I think its a caffeine headache.. and I have nothing but tylenol to take :( so I'm dealing with that, plus being scared to death, and being freaked out by everything.. Kevin is just happy as can be.. I'm like OMG KILL ME! hahhaah
I'll be glad when she's in my arms and this is over with so I dont have to be scared anymore! hahha.. I wish her room was TOTALLY finished.. (its not!) UGH.. hopefully wednesday we'll get it finished up atleast more then it is now! Its all the decorative fun part that needs to be done but I Just dont have the energy to get it done on my own.. and kevin is a boy so decorative parts arent important to him!
So thats where we stand!!! SO SCARED! :P
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I so don't know anything about a baby!
As if it isnt bad enough that the last baby I held was my nephew Jack, who is now .. 2 1/2?? And I held him so briefly because I was afraid I would break him. I don't know how any of this baby stuff works! I was really hoping in class I'd learn something. But generally.. I'm still pretty lost!
Ive put so much concentration on pregnancy and learning everything I could, now I'm going to have a baby in less then 2 weeks and I dont know much about how to take care of HER! And lets face it, times have changed.. so calling my mom up and asking her is pointless! Thats like reading a 30 year old weather report.. its kinda not gonna apply to me much!
Like, I didnt know there was a time frame when you should or should not take the baby out after birth? I just read on a pregnancy group someone asking how long you should wait till you take her out in the public. I had no clue it mattered! I figured as soon as you feel comfortable. But the answers were from 5 weeks to 3 days. LOL.. So.. I'll ask in the hospital!
I don't even know what shots she gets when. Like, should I wait till she has certain shots till she goes out in public? Can she be taken to a family event like Easter when shes only days old? How long will she have to wait till Kevin can show her off at work (He's really excited about doing that!).. Etc!!!!
I was stupid and when I went to that "Just Between Friends" consignment sale thing, I saw many books for sale. And I wanted the "what to expect the first year" or whatever.. and it was only $3 or so? But I was a dumby and I didnt bother buying it. Not sure what I was thinking! So I think I might go buy that tomorrow so I can start reading a little and have some clue what to do with my daughter!
This is going to be quite the experience! I can't tell you the last diaper I've ever changed... I havent even asked Kevin.. I'm scared to hear his answer :) I dont know when to powder them or put diaper rash stuff on them or .. eh! My mom explained bathing to me the other day.. Didnt know much about that either! I konw shes supposed to wear one layer of clothes more then I do. But like I told Kevin the other day, I"m the idiot that wears shorts and flip flops outside to realize its 40 degree's.. So yeah, I worry that I'm gonna be stupid in that department too! HAHA..
Everyone says this stuff comes naturally.. I certainly hope it does.. but in the meantime, I think I will go get me some books to read! :)
Kevin did buy me a book for xmas.. (It pays to leave Parenting books and Redbook in his bathroom cuz he reads them and goes out and buys me stuff he finds in there!) HAHA. The book is "12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know" I havent had a chance to even start reading it yet but I think its more of an emotional guide to being a good mommy.. and I guess it touches a lot on "know-it-all" mothers who are going to try to give me their unsolicited advise and how to deal with what they say in a nice manner and go about yer day :) HAHA.
I dont mind advise, but as with most things in life, I take what I need and leave the rest!!!! ANd just because someone gives me advise, doesn't mean I'm not going to go online and read up on it on my own before I apply it! Thats me!
And yeah, I may get made fun of because I follow all the rules and trends.. but ya know, id rather be safe then sorry! (I get made fun of a lot now because I try my hardest not to eat lunch meat because you can get a bacteria from it listeria or something? and it can make baby sick or even cause death) Yeah, the chances of me getting the listeria probably arent very high. But they say you shouldnt eat it.. so I dont! Ive been told I need to stop reading online and stop following all the fads.. but ya know, I would rather NOT eat lunch meat for 9 months then find out I did get some odd bacteria disease and cause problems for Victoria. Better safe then sorry.. and I think I can live without Subway! HAHA...
The past month or so my sleeping has been different. All thru the pregnancy I wake up around 3am wanting a full on meal and baby Victoria is bouncing around having a party.. but the past few weeks its now 4am. And I'm not always as hungry, but I definately want something to eat.. and she's not as bouncy anymore (shes getting bigger tho so less bounce effects!) hahah.. But I'm like, "what happened to 3am?" hahha before it was 3-4:30am now I'm on 4-5:30am.. Not too fond of this time change!
I wonder what she will be like when she's born.. if she'll be a night person like me, or a morning person like kevin.. I hope shes a night person! I so don't do mornings! ANd she does GREAT on her late afternoon evening tests.. and she sleeps thru her morning tests.. so maybe thats a good sign!! Maybe that girl will let me sleep in! (I can wish right?) Id much rather be up all night long and sleep all day long then visa versa! Kevin has made me learn to sleep a little better.. I now am in bed before Midnight most nights. When I lived in California I didnt go to bed till atleast 3-5am! Like, Midnight to sleep? You've got to be kidding me! ANd lately, Ive been going to bed even as early as 10pm cuz I'm so tired!
I'm getting excited! I keep reading all these birth stories on my pregnancy groups and I cant help but to cry and get more and more excited.. and to see all the baby pictures.. awe! So cute! Plus, its like, Ive been chatting with these girls since August, so we've all become friends and some of them have helped me out A LOT with stuff! So its really exciting to see everyone having their babies! I think so far 42 of them have been born from our April group! (some made their apperance in March!) I cant wait till I get to post my birth story on there and show off pictures of my baby girl too!!! I think everyone is rooting for me after my break down last week over the whole induction deal! Everyone helped me thru that.. which was nice.. nice to know people care!
Okay.. its 5:27am.. I think I am going to go back to sleep now! My Belley dog is passed out in her kennel next to me and she looks so comfy.. I just chased Pigeon/Princess outta the bassinet.. so I think all is taken care of in the living room for tonight HAHA.. My pet sitting job is done.. (thats what im really out here doing, I'm not wasting time on the internet.. im checkin up on the animals.. yeah.. thats it!)
Back to Sleep I go!!!!!!! TTFN!
Ive put so much concentration on pregnancy and learning everything I could, now I'm going to have a baby in less then 2 weeks and I dont know much about how to take care of HER! And lets face it, times have changed.. so calling my mom up and asking her is pointless! Thats like reading a 30 year old weather report.. its kinda not gonna apply to me much!
Like, I didnt know there was a time frame when you should or should not take the baby out after birth? I just read on a pregnancy group someone asking how long you should wait till you take her out in the public. I had no clue it mattered! I figured as soon as you feel comfortable. But the answers were from 5 weeks to 3 days. LOL.. So.. I'll ask in the hospital!
I don't even know what shots she gets when. Like, should I wait till she has certain shots till she goes out in public? Can she be taken to a family event like Easter when shes only days old? How long will she have to wait till Kevin can show her off at work (He's really excited about doing that!).. Etc!!!!
I was stupid and when I went to that "Just Between Friends" consignment sale thing, I saw many books for sale. And I wanted the "what to expect the first year" or whatever.. and it was only $3 or so? But I was a dumby and I didnt bother buying it. Not sure what I was thinking! So I think I might go buy that tomorrow so I can start reading a little and have some clue what to do with my daughter!
This is going to be quite the experience! I can't tell you the last diaper I've ever changed... I havent even asked Kevin.. I'm scared to hear his answer :) I dont know when to powder them or put diaper rash stuff on them or .. eh! My mom explained bathing to me the other day.. Didnt know much about that either! I konw shes supposed to wear one layer of clothes more then I do. But like I told Kevin the other day, I"m the idiot that wears shorts and flip flops outside to realize its 40 degree's.. So yeah, I worry that I'm gonna be stupid in that department too! HAHA..
Everyone says this stuff comes naturally.. I certainly hope it does.. but in the meantime, I think I will go get me some books to read! :)
Kevin did buy me a book for xmas.. (It pays to leave Parenting books and Redbook in his bathroom cuz he reads them and goes out and buys me stuff he finds in there!) HAHA. The book is "12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know" I havent had a chance to even start reading it yet but I think its more of an emotional guide to being a good mommy.. and I guess it touches a lot on "know-it-all" mothers who are going to try to give me their unsolicited advise and how to deal with what they say in a nice manner and go about yer day :) HAHA.
I dont mind advise, but as with most things in life, I take what I need and leave the rest!!!! ANd just because someone gives me advise, doesn't mean I'm not going to go online and read up on it on my own before I apply it! Thats me!
And yeah, I may get made fun of because I follow all the rules and trends.. but ya know, id rather be safe then sorry! (I get made fun of a lot now because I try my hardest not to eat lunch meat because you can get a bacteria from it listeria or something? and it can make baby sick or even cause death) Yeah, the chances of me getting the listeria probably arent very high. But they say you shouldnt eat it.. so I dont! Ive been told I need to stop reading online and stop following all the fads.. but ya know, I would rather NOT eat lunch meat for 9 months then find out I did get some odd bacteria disease and cause problems for Victoria. Better safe then sorry.. and I think I can live without Subway! HAHA...
The past month or so my sleeping has been different. All thru the pregnancy I wake up around 3am wanting a full on meal and baby Victoria is bouncing around having a party.. but the past few weeks its now 4am. And I'm not always as hungry, but I definately want something to eat.. and she's not as bouncy anymore (shes getting bigger tho so less bounce effects!) hahah.. But I'm like, "what happened to 3am?" hahha before it was 3-4:30am now I'm on 4-5:30am.. Not too fond of this time change!
I wonder what she will be like when she's born.. if she'll be a night person like me, or a morning person like kevin.. I hope shes a night person! I so don't do mornings! ANd she does GREAT on her late afternoon evening tests.. and she sleeps thru her morning tests.. so maybe thats a good sign!! Maybe that girl will let me sleep in! (I can wish right?) Id much rather be up all night long and sleep all day long then visa versa! Kevin has made me learn to sleep a little better.. I now am in bed before Midnight most nights. When I lived in California I didnt go to bed till atleast 3-5am! Like, Midnight to sleep? You've got to be kidding me! ANd lately, Ive been going to bed even as early as 10pm cuz I'm so tired!
I'm getting excited! I keep reading all these birth stories on my pregnancy groups and I cant help but to cry and get more and more excited.. and to see all the baby pictures.. awe! So cute! Plus, its like, Ive been chatting with these girls since August, so we've all become friends and some of them have helped me out A LOT with stuff! So its really exciting to see everyone having their babies! I think so far 42 of them have been born from our April group! (some made their apperance in March!) I cant wait till I get to post my birth story on there and show off pictures of my baby girl too!!! I think everyone is rooting for me after my break down last week over the whole induction deal! Everyone helped me thru that.. which was nice.. nice to know people care!
Okay.. its 5:27am.. I think I am going to go back to sleep now! My Belley dog is passed out in her kennel next to me and she looks so comfy.. I just chased Pigeon/Princess outta the bassinet.. so I think all is taken care of in the living room for tonight HAHA.. My pet sitting job is done.. (thats what im really out here doing, I'm not wasting time on the internet.. im checkin up on the animals.. yeah.. thats it!)
Back to Sleep I go!!!!!!! TTFN!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
We made the Tulsa World!!!
Kevin wrote an appreciation letter to the Tulsa World and they actually published it... We're gonna put the original in Victoria's baby book since its cuz of her :)
He was trying to send the letter to the fire Marshall or someone but none of their websites worked, so hopefully the firemen and their bosses saw this article so they know they got some appreciation :)
http://www.tulsaworld.com/opinion/article.aspx?subjectid=62&articleid=20090323_7_A11_spanc60111&archive=yes
Enjoy :)
He was trying to send the letter to the fire Marshall or someone but none of their websites worked, so hopefully the firemen and their bosses saw this article so they know they got some appreciation :)
http://www.tulsaworld.com/opinion/article.aspx?subjectid=62&articleid=20090323_7_A11_spanc60111&archive=yes
Enjoy :)
Update - Contraction Test and Plans!
I feel like all I ever do is "Update"... between emailing our Mom's, our friend's, my personal blogs, etc.. it just seems like every email / blog title is "update" I get to the point where I just dont even remember who I tell what to anymore! Thats why I'm trying to just get everyone to read on here so I dont have to do all these personal updates but then *I* am bad about doing that! Bleh!
Okay.. Thursday we had another lovely contraction stress test. This one took us a total of 3 hours I think? It was horribly long! We didn't even have time to go from the test to lunch and home.. we had to go from the test, to eating lunch while driving to my therapists appointment and Kevin just had to sit in the waiting room (we thought we'd have time that I could atleast drop him off at home.. NOPE!) hahah..
Ive had a rough few days.. I kinda had to come to terms with the fact that I'm more then likely not going to get to have a natural drug free hypnobirth! I'm probably not going to get to breast feed Victoria for long (if at all).. and everything I WANTED probably is not going to happen. So.. I need to just mentally prepare myself for dealing with what has been handed to me.. And if anyone know's me well, I do NOT take disappointment very well!! (who does?) but I'm a pretty big cry baby when things don't work out how I planned them in my head!
I think my bad days got set off by getting my medication list from my doctor saying most all my meds are not recommended during breast feeding. That and with the constant talk of induction.. it all just finally made me say "screw it" (not exactly the words I was "thinking" but this is a nice happy family blog spot! HAHAHA)
So after crying quite a bit Wednesday night I was pretty down come Thursday morning (the morning of my contraction test)... So when I was laying in the bed in triage at St. John's.. the nurse asked if I wanted to do the test naturally like last week, or have the Pitocin drip. I said Pitocin drip. That got Kevin to stop reading his newspaper.. He looked at me and was like, "are you sure?" and I said "yup!" I think thats when he realized I'm giving up on things and am getting depressed.
The nurse said she had to call my doctor to make sure that the Pitocin was okay to give me and then we'll get started. I just wonder what Dr. Noland thought when that nurse called her and told her that. Because I have been SO die hard "NO PITOCIN" this whole time! My "birth plan" says "no pitocin" and "No induction" all over it! And she even commented last monday about how she had to explain to the nurses about my last test that I will want the natural way not the drug way and they were really confused because no one has ever wanted it that way I guess *shrug*
I guess I kinda wanted the Pitocin cuz I know its a small amount and that would let *ME* know how Victoria will react to the drug (Pitocin is a synthetic version of Oxytocin which is what your body naturally releases when in labor, but it can cause horrible contractions, stress on you and the baby, and can make the labor worse and can put you at a higher risk for a c-section)... SO.. yeah.. I figured they'll just give me a little "Pit" and it will give me an idea how she reacts and how bad it hurts!
So I laid there for awhile and they finally came in with like 10 bags of stuff (all the IV equipment and needles and this and that!) And she said they're gonna take my blood before the IV so just in case I need to stay (this test can send you into full on labor!) they'll have blood already for me.. and if I dont need to stay, they'll just throw the blood away.. So i was like "whatever" hahah..
I don't like needles! Unless I'm getting pretty jewelry out of it.. I dont do needles (bodypiercings HAHHA) So she took my blood, and somewhere between the blood taking and the IV inserting I felt cold on my hand and sure enough, blood was dripping all over my hand, on the floor, on the bed.. I'm just like Oh LORD! YUCK! The thing I hate more then needles, BLOOD!
Finally they got me set up and going.. I felt like they were pumping me full of Heroin or something. That is how incredibly guilty and sad I was feeling. I felt like the worst Mommy in the world to be putting something in my body that could be causing distress on my baby girl. I just laid there trying not to cry and trying to just remember "lots of people use this drug and they're fine!" But it just wasnt a happy thing for me.. I truely felt absolutely horrible about this decision but it was too late to turn back now!
I laid there what seemed like forever and I was feeling the contractions and they were a lot worse then they are naturally.. so that wasnt exactly fun. But the stupid monitor wasnt showing my contractions.. I was just like WHAT!?!? So the nurse finally said the monitor is screwed up and its not detecting them right (DUH!) and long story short they got it working fine FINALLY...
I passed the test, Victoria passed the test (she was all bouncy and happy that day!) and we were finally told we could go home.. I had contractions most the day after that tho and all thru the night.
The doctors have been mentioning induction to me since Early March if not before that. ANd I have been saying "NO"... No one would give me a reason as to WHY to induce.. other then "She's small and can survive on her own outside so there is no reason to keep her in longer". Well.. face it, there are a lot of doctors out there who are in this for the money and there are alot of people in this for conveinience.. and most people I know, would LOVE to be induced! Not me.. I'm a firm believer she'll come out when she's damn well ready to!
However, it was stressed, regardless of what I want, she will NOT go past her due date.. PERIOD! Which is April 16th which is like, really quickly approaching!
That being said.. Dr. Noland asks every week "still no induction?" and I tell her "nope!" and even during my contraction stress test, the nurse asked if i wanted to be induced while there.. I really thought about it.. and I told her no.. I just dont feel mentally prepared for that to happen right that second! And kevin agreed, we aren't ready for that on that particular day!
Well.. yeah, so no doc has given me what I will take as a valid reason to induce. Well the nurse at the hospital told me she has the same blood clotting disorder they found out I have. And she told us the reason doctors want to induce is because I can form a blood clot in the umbilical cord which could cut off oxygen and everything else to Victoria and she could possibly die from it and somehow I can cause her to have a blood clot as well. Kevin looked at her and said "thank you, you are the FIRST person to explain this to us!"
Seriously, NO ONE has told us this.. NO ONE. ANd I havent found much online about this blood disorder and pregnancy other then I'm lucky I made it past my first trimester!
So this puts a whole new spin on life. Its gone from my personal feelings on induction to, this could cause me to kill my child if something went wrong! And I'm sorry, no personal feelings on anything is worth my child's life! I dont care what it is!
So I pretty much told Kevin, we HAVE to induce! I mean, com'on.. we have to! Not to mention the fact that we only have exactly 2 weeks (from last thursday) for her to come out on her own.. and I'm not "ready" yet physically "down there". So .. yeah.. It seems to me that induction is going to occur anyhow.. so we might as well just get it over with now.. specially knowing something could seriously happen to her and after my emergency trip to the hospital on April 1st. We just need to do it!
So we got out our calendars and started picking baby birthday's HAHA.. We originally wanted to go for the 14th or so.. but I think after hearing that information, it needs to happen THIS WEEK!
I would love for her to be born on the 7th.. my lucky number.. but thats like, REALLY quick! hahha.. Because from what we learned in class, they'll probably have me come in the night before to give me something to make me "ready" physically and then the next morning begin the pitocin drip and get labor going and then have her! So that would put me in the hospital Monday night (the 6th).. EEK!
SO, I'm gonna ask Dr. Noland on Monday when I see her if there is any way we can be induced maybe on the 9th and have her on the 10th. Or even go in the 8th and have her on the 9th. It doesnt exactly work into our schedule as we wanted (Kev has Wed, Thurs, Fri off work so we thought we'd try to make it on days he already is scheduled to be off so its less stuff to worry about) but we can't have everything our way :) So he said just get it planned and he'll figure out his work schedule later! (the 7th is tuesday.. so we figured if i went in monday night, we'd have the full rest of the week.. thats what Im meaning to say)....
Anyhow.. We'll see what the doc says.. I don't know what days she does inductions .. I do know shes in surgery a lot on Thursdays.. so I'll see what she says. I'm sure I'll be updating the blog come Monday when I find out!
More then likely, this time next week we'll have a little baby in our arms! I woke up at 4am today mad cuz I didnt want to be woken up (gotta love potty breaks all night long) and I was thinking.. if this is bad, in a week, its going to be every 2 hours or less! This is nothing.. I should be loving this! My problem is I appreciate sleep more then anything in this world I think. It truley is my favorite hobby! HAHAH.. so knwing I'm going to be losing sleep soon is like OH MY GOD! Seriously.. thats like taking my oxygen away! Horrible! hahah.
SO yeah... Possibly in one week Miss Tori will be with us.. She'll get to have Easter! (I bought her an Easter basket and put a little pink bunny in it, 4 pacifiers and some hair bows.. yer kinda limited to Easter stuff when it comes to an infant! HAHA)...
It would be awesome if we had her before Easter and were already outta the hospital and feeling well enough to go to Easter lunch with the family. But not knowing when she'll be born, how *I* will feel, I mean, if I have a c-section, I'm probably not going to want to be out and about much! Who know how I'll feel mentally.. there is just so much "what if" and wondering how things are going. So at this time we declined the invitation and if things change then we'll see if they can hold us a spot HAHA.. and if not then we'll spend Easter at home as a family together! And if Tori doesnt get to meet us before Easter, then Kevin will be working and I will be enjoying my beauty sleep possibly HAHA. We'll just have to play it by ear and see what happens!!
Its now 5:45am and my bed is calling me. I have more updates regarding my new therapist I met (I actually like him.. amazing!!!) and about whats going to happen with me medication wise after the baby (Im going to attempt no meds and see how I go.. taking it day by day.. literally!)... and all that stuff.. as you can tell, I can turn a simple statement "I dropped a book" into a 5 page story on how the book fell and how it looked as falling, etc! I'm umm.. "long winded" so yeah.. thats the Cliff Notes version of the therapist info :)
Other then that, I am literatlly scared to death of this baby girl! I am scared I'll be a bad mommy, I am scared I wont be able to handle this, I am scared that Im not going to do things right, I am scared knowing its just me! I dont have much physical support out here! WHen Kevin is at work, its me and Tori against the world! Yeah.. Me = SCARED!!!!!!!!
The quicker this little girl can make her appearence, the less I'll have to stress myself out over because I will be in the NOW and not in the freak out zone of "what am i going to do?"
Hopefully I'll have some pics to post soon... Kevin put the bassinet together tonight... Its getting more and more real by the day!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay.. Thursday we had another lovely contraction stress test. This one took us a total of 3 hours I think? It was horribly long! We didn't even have time to go from the test to lunch and home.. we had to go from the test, to eating lunch while driving to my therapists appointment and Kevin just had to sit in the waiting room (we thought we'd have time that I could atleast drop him off at home.. NOPE!) hahah..
Ive had a rough few days.. I kinda had to come to terms with the fact that I'm more then likely not going to get to have a natural drug free hypnobirth! I'm probably not going to get to breast feed Victoria for long (if at all).. and everything I WANTED probably is not going to happen. So.. I need to just mentally prepare myself for dealing with what has been handed to me.. And if anyone know's me well, I do NOT take disappointment very well!! (who does?) but I'm a pretty big cry baby when things don't work out how I planned them in my head!
I think my bad days got set off by getting my medication list from my doctor saying most all my meds are not recommended during breast feeding. That and with the constant talk of induction.. it all just finally made me say "screw it" (not exactly the words I was "thinking" but this is a nice happy family blog spot! HAHAHA)
So after crying quite a bit Wednesday night I was pretty down come Thursday morning (the morning of my contraction test)... So when I was laying in the bed in triage at St. John's.. the nurse asked if I wanted to do the test naturally like last week, or have the Pitocin drip. I said Pitocin drip. That got Kevin to stop reading his newspaper.. He looked at me and was like, "are you sure?" and I said "yup!" I think thats when he realized I'm giving up on things and am getting depressed.
The nurse said she had to call my doctor to make sure that the Pitocin was okay to give me and then we'll get started. I just wonder what Dr. Noland thought when that nurse called her and told her that. Because I have been SO die hard "NO PITOCIN" this whole time! My "birth plan" says "no pitocin" and "No induction" all over it! And she even commented last monday about how she had to explain to the nurses about my last test that I will want the natural way not the drug way and they were really confused because no one has ever wanted it that way I guess *shrug*
I guess I kinda wanted the Pitocin cuz I know its a small amount and that would let *ME* know how Victoria will react to the drug (Pitocin is a synthetic version of Oxytocin which is what your body naturally releases when in labor, but it can cause horrible contractions, stress on you and the baby, and can make the labor worse and can put you at a higher risk for a c-section)... SO.. yeah.. I figured they'll just give me a little "Pit" and it will give me an idea how she reacts and how bad it hurts!
So I laid there for awhile and they finally came in with like 10 bags of stuff (all the IV equipment and needles and this and that!) And she said they're gonna take my blood before the IV so just in case I need to stay (this test can send you into full on labor!) they'll have blood already for me.. and if I dont need to stay, they'll just throw the blood away.. So i was like "whatever" hahah..
I don't like needles! Unless I'm getting pretty jewelry out of it.. I dont do needles (bodypiercings HAHHA) So she took my blood, and somewhere between the blood taking and the IV inserting I felt cold on my hand and sure enough, blood was dripping all over my hand, on the floor, on the bed.. I'm just like Oh LORD! YUCK! The thing I hate more then needles, BLOOD!
Finally they got me set up and going.. I felt like they were pumping me full of Heroin or something. That is how incredibly guilty and sad I was feeling. I felt like the worst Mommy in the world to be putting something in my body that could be causing distress on my baby girl. I just laid there trying not to cry and trying to just remember "lots of people use this drug and they're fine!" But it just wasnt a happy thing for me.. I truely felt absolutely horrible about this decision but it was too late to turn back now!
I laid there what seemed like forever and I was feeling the contractions and they were a lot worse then they are naturally.. so that wasnt exactly fun. But the stupid monitor wasnt showing my contractions.. I was just like WHAT!?!? So the nurse finally said the monitor is screwed up and its not detecting them right (DUH!) and long story short they got it working fine FINALLY...
I passed the test, Victoria passed the test (she was all bouncy and happy that day!) and we were finally told we could go home.. I had contractions most the day after that tho and all thru the night.
The doctors have been mentioning induction to me since Early March if not before that. ANd I have been saying "NO"... No one would give me a reason as to WHY to induce.. other then "She's small and can survive on her own outside so there is no reason to keep her in longer". Well.. face it, there are a lot of doctors out there who are in this for the money and there are alot of people in this for conveinience.. and most people I know, would LOVE to be induced! Not me.. I'm a firm believer she'll come out when she's damn well ready to!
However, it was stressed, regardless of what I want, she will NOT go past her due date.. PERIOD! Which is April 16th which is like, really quickly approaching!
That being said.. Dr. Noland asks every week "still no induction?" and I tell her "nope!" and even during my contraction stress test, the nurse asked if i wanted to be induced while there.. I really thought about it.. and I told her no.. I just dont feel mentally prepared for that to happen right that second! And kevin agreed, we aren't ready for that on that particular day!
Well.. yeah, so no doc has given me what I will take as a valid reason to induce. Well the nurse at the hospital told me she has the same blood clotting disorder they found out I have. And she told us the reason doctors want to induce is because I can form a blood clot in the umbilical cord which could cut off oxygen and everything else to Victoria and she could possibly die from it and somehow I can cause her to have a blood clot as well. Kevin looked at her and said "thank you, you are the FIRST person to explain this to us!"
Seriously, NO ONE has told us this.. NO ONE. ANd I havent found much online about this blood disorder and pregnancy other then I'm lucky I made it past my first trimester!
So this puts a whole new spin on life. Its gone from my personal feelings on induction to, this could cause me to kill my child if something went wrong! And I'm sorry, no personal feelings on anything is worth my child's life! I dont care what it is!
So I pretty much told Kevin, we HAVE to induce! I mean, com'on.. we have to! Not to mention the fact that we only have exactly 2 weeks (from last thursday) for her to come out on her own.. and I'm not "ready" yet physically "down there". So .. yeah.. It seems to me that induction is going to occur anyhow.. so we might as well just get it over with now.. specially knowing something could seriously happen to her and after my emergency trip to the hospital on April 1st. We just need to do it!
So we got out our calendars and started picking baby birthday's HAHA.. We originally wanted to go for the 14th or so.. but I think after hearing that information, it needs to happen THIS WEEK!
I would love for her to be born on the 7th.. my lucky number.. but thats like, REALLY quick! hahha.. Because from what we learned in class, they'll probably have me come in the night before to give me something to make me "ready" physically and then the next morning begin the pitocin drip and get labor going and then have her! So that would put me in the hospital Monday night (the 6th).. EEK!
SO, I'm gonna ask Dr. Noland on Monday when I see her if there is any way we can be induced maybe on the 9th and have her on the 10th. Or even go in the 8th and have her on the 9th. It doesnt exactly work into our schedule as we wanted (Kev has Wed, Thurs, Fri off work so we thought we'd try to make it on days he already is scheduled to be off so its less stuff to worry about) but we can't have everything our way :) So he said just get it planned and he'll figure out his work schedule later! (the 7th is tuesday.. so we figured if i went in monday night, we'd have the full rest of the week.. thats what Im meaning to say)....
Anyhow.. We'll see what the doc says.. I don't know what days she does inductions .. I do know shes in surgery a lot on Thursdays.. so I'll see what she says. I'm sure I'll be updating the blog come Monday when I find out!
More then likely, this time next week we'll have a little baby in our arms! I woke up at 4am today mad cuz I didnt want to be woken up (gotta love potty breaks all night long) and I was thinking.. if this is bad, in a week, its going to be every 2 hours or less! This is nothing.. I should be loving this! My problem is I appreciate sleep more then anything in this world I think. It truley is my favorite hobby! HAHAH.. so knwing I'm going to be losing sleep soon is like OH MY GOD! Seriously.. thats like taking my oxygen away! Horrible! hahah.
SO yeah... Possibly in one week Miss Tori will be with us.. She'll get to have Easter! (I bought her an Easter basket and put a little pink bunny in it, 4 pacifiers and some hair bows.. yer kinda limited to Easter stuff when it comes to an infant! HAHA)...
It would be awesome if we had her before Easter and were already outta the hospital and feeling well enough to go to Easter lunch with the family. But not knowing when she'll be born, how *I* will feel, I mean, if I have a c-section, I'm probably not going to want to be out and about much! Who know how I'll feel mentally.. there is just so much "what if" and wondering how things are going. So at this time we declined the invitation and if things change then we'll see if they can hold us a spot HAHA.. and if not then we'll spend Easter at home as a family together! And if Tori doesnt get to meet us before Easter, then Kevin will be working and I will be enjoying my beauty sleep possibly HAHA. We'll just have to play it by ear and see what happens!!
Its now 5:45am and my bed is calling me. I have more updates regarding my new therapist I met (I actually like him.. amazing!!!) and about whats going to happen with me medication wise after the baby (Im going to attempt no meds and see how I go.. taking it day by day.. literally!)... and all that stuff.. as you can tell, I can turn a simple statement "I dropped a book" into a 5 page story on how the book fell and how it looked as falling, etc! I'm umm.. "long winded" so yeah.. thats the Cliff Notes version of the therapist info :)
Other then that, I am literatlly scared to death of this baby girl! I am scared I'll be a bad mommy, I am scared I wont be able to handle this, I am scared that Im not going to do things right, I am scared knowing its just me! I dont have much physical support out here! WHen Kevin is at work, its me and Tori against the world! Yeah.. Me = SCARED!!!!!!!!
The quicker this little girl can make her appearence, the less I'll have to stress myself out over because I will be in the NOW and not in the freak out zone of "what am i going to do?"
Hopefully I'll have some pics to post soon... Kevin put the bassinet together tonight... Its getting more and more real by the day!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah! its so much fun to OD on Sugar!!!!
You must love my stupidity! I push myself CONSTANTLY with my sugar intake. I never understood WHY you cant have sugar after gastric bypass surgery but this website makes it pretty darn clear!
http://searchwarp.com/swa314640.htm
I was SO GOOD right after surgery about not pushing my sugar! I mean the first time I started to feel sick from sugar was a glass of sugar free apple juice a little while after my surgery.. and it made me SICK!
I was o good about it though, I would check the sugar content of everything, wouldnt drink soda, nothing.. I was an angel. Then as I do with everything, I started pushing my limits a little more and more..
And where did that get me? Berry Cobbler and Caffeine free Pepsi at 4:30am! And boy do I feel it! My heart is RACING and as Kevin likes to put it, I'm "Huffing and Puffing" (which is why I'm blogging and not going back to sleep!) I feel like CRAP! HAHA.. I do it to myself tho! So ya cant feel sorry for me! I probably make myself sick once every 2 weeks.. I just cant control myself I guess. Its worse now that I'm pregnant because its a craving more then a "i want" so I kinda go for it! HAHA. When I get myself back up to 300 pounds I can re-read these and remind myself what an IDIOT I am!
I need to get back on track after Victoria is born. No more sugar and junk food! Ive pretty much ate anything I wanted while being pregnant.. I didnt hold back much! And the scale shows it! Once she's born tho, its back to light and fat free everything! No more full calories!!!
Im gonna make a new blog that is Victoria oriented.. I just had to share my miserable feeling! hahah
http://searchwarp.com/swa314640.htm
I was SO GOOD right after surgery about not pushing my sugar! I mean the first time I started to feel sick from sugar was a glass of sugar free apple juice a little while after my surgery.. and it made me SICK!
I was o good about it though, I would check the sugar content of everything, wouldnt drink soda, nothing.. I was an angel. Then as I do with everything, I started pushing my limits a little more and more..
And where did that get me? Berry Cobbler and Caffeine free Pepsi at 4:30am! And boy do I feel it! My heart is RACING and as Kevin likes to put it, I'm "Huffing and Puffing" (which is why I'm blogging and not going back to sleep!) I feel like CRAP! HAHA.. I do it to myself tho! So ya cant feel sorry for me! I probably make myself sick once every 2 weeks.. I just cant control myself I guess. Its worse now that I'm pregnant because its a craving more then a "i want" so I kinda go for it! HAHA. When I get myself back up to 300 pounds I can re-read these and remind myself what an IDIOT I am!
I need to get back on track after Victoria is born. No more sugar and junk food! Ive pretty much ate anything I wanted while being pregnant.. I didnt hold back much! And the scale shows it! Once she's born tho, its back to light and fat free everything! No more full calories!!!
Im gonna make a new blog that is Victoria oriented.. I just had to share my miserable feeling! hahah
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April Fool's Scare!
Well... All day on the 31st of March I pretty much slept... (seems the story of my life!) but when I was awake, I didnt feel bouncy baby bouncing much. Kinda concerned me but I just thought Id give her time.
I told Kevin we might have to go to the hospital if I dont feel her soon! So we went to eat and I thought I might have felt her but I couldnt tell for sure. So when we came home from dinner I had a piece of banana creme pie (sugar gets her moving!) and she still didnt move. SO.. I drank some cold drink.. which makes her move too.. still nothing.. SO i decided to go lay down in bed, she tends to party when its sleepy time.. Still.. NOTHING.. so I tried that stupid heartbeat doppler type deal (just one you buy at the store, not a good one or anything)... and Ive never really been able to pick up her heartbeat on it anyways but thought id give it a chance.. still, nothing!
So I thought its better to be safe then sorry! So I started getting dressed and told Kevin we need to go to St. Johns! So we were off to the hospital. I dont think we really said a word the whole way there! Straight down Lewis street.. speed limit is like 45/35, apparently I was almost to 60 (I didnt know it, kevin told me later! HAHA) He said i looked too concentrated on my driving to say anything!
We got to the Labor and delivery area at the hospital.. luckily its not a busy area.. so they got me right into triage, had me put on a robe and lay down... took my blood pressure, she asked "is your blood pressure normally good?" and I'm all "yeah" it was like 190 over something when they took it.. LOL.
She then said shes gonna put the monitor on my belly but warned us she might not get it right away (I guess so we dont freak) and she put it on me and immediately we started to hear "thump thump thump" we both let out a sigh of relief!!! I've never been so happy to hear that thump! Her heart rate was fine and was actually normal! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
They kept me on the monitor for an hour total. I swear, she had the perfect "non-stress test".. I always told the docs, if they'd schedule me for like midnight or later for my NST, they'd get great results! I wasnt joking! Its like the best test ive ever seen from her! And i have those tests once a week! Even the nurse said she looks awesome!!!!
They took my blood pressure 3 times and it just kept going down and down and I think when we left it was like 117 over something.. whatever, it was "normal" She's not even born yet and she's already gonna give us a heartattack!
So after last night.. I'm more open to the idea of induction! I just want her out so I know she's safe!!! That was really really scary thinking something could be wrong with her!
Today she's throwing a party tho.. bouncing all around having a good ol' time! Its weird now shes bouncy one day and lays low the next, then has bounce fest the next day! I dont get that girl!
We had to run some errons today.. but after we ate, we went grocery shopping.. that was horrible, i was SO FULL from lunch and since shes so high up now, she pushes my insides to my lungs and makes it hard to breath! So I was huffing and puffing thru the store, plus I was having contractions on top of it.. so I was tired, huffy, puffy, in pain, just wanting to get the food and go! I told Kevin "make this quick" luckily I made it! I think next time I'm gonna get that motorized skooter... I was really thinking about it today, but didnt want to be a wimp... screw that, next time i'll just be a wimp :P hahhaha.
At the store the people in front of me were talking about cigarettes.. and I think the son said something like "we should stop talking about cigarettes in front of the pregnant lady" or something like that, and she turned to her son and says "she's not pregnant" and the son is like "uh huh!" so she looks at me and goes "are you expecting?" and I'm like "uhh yeah!" and she asked when, and I told her in 2 weeks and she actually told me "wow you are so small" what was she smoking?? HAHA.. seriously! I feel like a HOUSE! Ive always held my weight in my stomach but yeah, never this much weight!!! HAHA.
My OB said I've gained alot of weight in the past few weeks.. (I HAVE) considering I had gastric bypass and my tummy is tiny, I have NO IDEA how i've gained SO MUCH! I wont even say how much I've gained, lets put it this way, its a lot more then whats recommended for someone "normal"....
Dr. Noland said it has to be water weight that ive gained tho! I am just, so incredibly swollen! Ive been extremely swollen since like the first week of March! I didnt realize how bad I had gotten till I saw my pictures from the baby shower! HAHA. And its not going away! My legs, ankles, toes, all are huge! I finally had to take off my wedding ring and promise ring because if I have a c-section they're going to make me take them off and it was next to impossible to get them off now!
On the downside of life, I gave my medical doctor a list of all my medications I was on pre-pregnancy and she mailed it back today with her comments and basically any medication I feel I absolutely need says "not recommended" for breast feeding :( Very disappointing!!! So I don't know what I'm going to do now! Invest in a lot more bottles? Considering we have, umm.. 2! hahahah
I guess I was kinda stupid to even think that Id get to breast feed with my medications.. I just had high hopes!!! I guess I thought that I could go without meds too, but according to my doc I have like an 80% chance of that postpardum depression (YEAH ME!) And I read that a mommy with depression doesnt connect well with her baby which can cause a lot of problems down the line!!!
So... lets recap..
I wanted a natural, drug free birth.. more then likely I'll be induced, meaning I"ll be given Pitocin (which I do NOT want) and that means the pains will be WAY worse, meaning I'll probably give in to an epidural! that is if I dont need a c-section!
I wanted to exclusively breast feed and I wanted to stay OFF all my medications. But.. that's not looking too promising about the meds, and the meds arent looking like they're going to work with breast feeding.
So, the two major things I really wanted outta this child birth experience are being taken away.. not to mention I've been high risk this whole time because of the wonderful blood clotting disorder I found out I had while being pregnant!
OH WELL....
As long as she is born HEALTHY, I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will get chopped open by the doc, I will bottle feed, I will take my medications like a good little Mommy.. I will do ANYTHING as long as she is just healthy! I won't even COMPLAIN about it all as long as she is healthy! And all this scary crap with the high risk stuff will have been worth it!
After watching one of those stupid Baby shows on discovery channel, I feel pretty darn lucky to even be having my baby girl! They had a lady on there who apparently has the same blood disorder they said I have (that APS or whatever they told me it is .. its in a previous blog).. but she couldnt carry her babies past the first trimester and she'd lose them! So I guess I'm pretty fortunate to begin with!! (she did have the APS much worse then I have it tho!)....
I just realized, its the first of April.. well. I knew that, but I looked at the calendar and went WOW.. she'll be here in 2 weeks! if not sooner! They will NOT let me go past the due date, they dont even want me to go TO the due date... so I'm thinking in less then 2 weeks, she will be here.. how freakin scary is that??? :) HAHA...
I'm still not 100% ready for her.. my apartment is all cluttered, her room still isnt fully finished, all her clothes arent all hung, her sheets arent all put up, her bassinet isnt put together yet... UGH! And I had NO IDEA how much my energy would disappear out of nowhere.. and I mean, nowhere!
I mean, generally, we're ready.. but its not as ready as I wanted to be for when she got here! We'll live I guess :)
If the doc gives me a choice on an induction day, I'm planning on telling her the 14th. (SORRY HILLARY - HAHAHA she wants Victoria to be born on her bday) hahah. *I* want the 7th, but thats kinda like, THIS tuesday! Yeah! HAHA. So we'll see what happens after my doc appointment on Monday!!
This is a longer blog then I intended!
I told Kevin we might have to go to the hospital if I dont feel her soon! So we went to eat and I thought I might have felt her but I couldnt tell for sure. So when we came home from dinner I had a piece of banana creme pie (sugar gets her moving!) and she still didnt move. SO.. I drank some cold drink.. which makes her move too.. still nothing.. SO i decided to go lay down in bed, she tends to party when its sleepy time.. Still.. NOTHING.. so I tried that stupid heartbeat doppler type deal (just one you buy at the store, not a good one or anything)... and Ive never really been able to pick up her heartbeat on it anyways but thought id give it a chance.. still, nothing!
So I thought its better to be safe then sorry! So I started getting dressed and told Kevin we need to go to St. Johns! So we were off to the hospital. I dont think we really said a word the whole way there! Straight down Lewis street.. speed limit is like 45/35, apparently I was almost to 60 (I didnt know it, kevin told me later! HAHA) He said i looked too concentrated on my driving to say anything!
We got to the Labor and delivery area at the hospital.. luckily its not a busy area.. so they got me right into triage, had me put on a robe and lay down... took my blood pressure, she asked "is your blood pressure normally good?" and I'm all "yeah" it was like 190 over something when they took it.. LOL.
She then said shes gonna put the monitor on my belly but warned us she might not get it right away (I guess so we dont freak) and she put it on me and immediately we started to hear "thump thump thump" we both let out a sigh of relief!!! I've never been so happy to hear that thump! Her heart rate was fine and was actually normal! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
They kept me on the monitor for an hour total. I swear, she had the perfect "non-stress test".. I always told the docs, if they'd schedule me for like midnight or later for my NST, they'd get great results! I wasnt joking! Its like the best test ive ever seen from her! And i have those tests once a week! Even the nurse said she looks awesome!!!!
They took my blood pressure 3 times and it just kept going down and down and I think when we left it was like 117 over something.. whatever, it was "normal" She's not even born yet and she's already gonna give us a heartattack!
So after last night.. I'm more open to the idea of induction! I just want her out so I know she's safe!!! That was really really scary thinking something could be wrong with her!
Today she's throwing a party tho.. bouncing all around having a good ol' time! Its weird now shes bouncy one day and lays low the next, then has bounce fest the next day! I dont get that girl!
We had to run some errons today.. but after we ate, we went grocery shopping.. that was horrible, i was SO FULL from lunch and since shes so high up now, she pushes my insides to my lungs and makes it hard to breath! So I was huffing and puffing thru the store, plus I was having contractions on top of it.. so I was tired, huffy, puffy, in pain, just wanting to get the food and go! I told Kevin "make this quick" luckily I made it! I think next time I'm gonna get that motorized skooter... I was really thinking about it today, but didnt want to be a wimp... screw that, next time i'll just be a wimp :P hahhaha.
At the store the people in front of me were talking about cigarettes.. and I think the son said something like "we should stop talking about cigarettes in front of the pregnant lady" or something like that, and she turned to her son and says "she's not pregnant" and the son is like "uh huh!" so she looks at me and goes "are you expecting?" and I'm like "uhh yeah!" and she asked when, and I told her in 2 weeks and she actually told me "wow you are so small" what was she smoking?? HAHA.. seriously! I feel like a HOUSE! Ive always held my weight in my stomach but yeah, never this much weight!!! HAHA.
My OB said I've gained alot of weight in the past few weeks.. (I HAVE) considering I had gastric bypass and my tummy is tiny, I have NO IDEA how i've gained SO MUCH! I wont even say how much I've gained, lets put it this way, its a lot more then whats recommended for someone "normal"....
Dr. Noland said it has to be water weight that ive gained tho! I am just, so incredibly swollen! Ive been extremely swollen since like the first week of March! I didnt realize how bad I had gotten till I saw my pictures from the baby shower! HAHA. And its not going away! My legs, ankles, toes, all are huge! I finally had to take off my wedding ring and promise ring because if I have a c-section they're going to make me take them off and it was next to impossible to get them off now!
On the downside of life, I gave my medical doctor a list of all my medications I was on pre-pregnancy and she mailed it back today with her comments and basically any medication I feel I absolutely need says "not recommended" for breast feeding :( Very disappointing!!! So I don't know what I'm going to do now! Invest in a lot more bottles? Considering we have, umm.. 2! hahahah
I guess I was kinda stupid to even think that Id get to breast feed with my medications.. I just had high hopes!!! I guess I thought that I could go without meds too, but according to my doc I have like an 80% chance of that postpardum depression (YEAH ME!) And I read that a mommy with depression doesnt connect well with her baby which can cause a lot of problems down the line!!!
So... lets recap..
I wanted a natural, drug free birth.. more then likely I'll be induced, meaning I"ll be given Pitocin (which I do NOT want) and that means the pains will be WAY worse, meaning I'll probably give in to an epidural! that is if I dont need a c-section!
I wanted to exclusively breast feed and I wanted to stay OFF all my medications. But.. that's not looking too promising about the meds, and the meds arent looking like they're going to work with breast feeding.
So, the two major things I really wanted outta this child birth experience are being taken away.. not to mention I've been high risk this whole time because of the wonderful blood clotting disorder I found out I had while being pregnant!
OH WELL....
As long as she is born HEALTHY, I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will get chopped open by the doc, I will bottle feed, I will take my medications like a good little Mommy.. I will do ANYTHING as long as she is just healthy! I won't even COMPLAIN about it all as long as she is healthy! And all this scary crap with the high risk stuff will have been worth it!
After watching one of those stupid Baby shows on discovery channel, I feel pretty darn lucky to even be having my baby girl! They had a lady on there who apparently has the same blood disorder they said I have (that APS or whatever they told me it is .. its in a previous blog).. but she couldnt carry her babies past the first trimester and she'd lose them! So I guess I'm pretty fortunate to begin with!! (she did have the APS much worse then I have it tho!)....
I just realized, its the first of April.. well. I knew that, but I looked at the calendar and went WOW.. she'll be here in 2 weeks! if not sooner! They will NOT let me go past the due date, they dont even want me to go TO the due date... so I'm thinking in less then 2 weeks, she will be here.. how freakin scary is that??? :) HAHA...
I'm still not 100% ready for her.. my apartment is all cluttered, her room still isnt fully finished, all her clothes arent all hung, her sheets arent all put up, her bassinet isnt put together yet... UGH! And I had NO IDEA how much my energy would disappear out of nowhere.. and I mean, nowhere!
I mean, generally, we're ready.. but its not as ready as I wanted to be for when she got here! We'll live I guess :)
If the doc gives me a choice on an induction day, I'm planning on telling her the 14th. (SORRY HILLARY - HAHAHA she wants Victoria to be born on her bday) hahah. *I* want the 7th, but thats kinda like, THIS tuesday! Yeah! HAHA. So we'll see what happens after my doc appointment on Monday!!
This is a longer blog then I intended!
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