April Fool's Scare!

Well... All day on the 31st of March I pretty much slept... (seems the story of my life!) but when I was awake, I didnt feel bouncy baby bouncing much. Kinda concerned me but I just thought Id give her time.

I told Kevin we might have to go to the hospital if I dont feel her soon! So we went to eat and I thought I might have felt her but I couldnt tell for sure. So when we came home from dinner I had a piece of banana creme pie (sugar gets her moving!) and she still didnt move. SO.. I drank some cold drink.. which makes her move too.. still nothing.. SO i decided to go lay down in bed, she tends to party when its sleepy time.. Still.. NOTHING.. so I tried that stupid heartbeat doppler type deal (just one you buy at the store, not a good one or anything)... and Ive never really been able to pick up her heartbeat on it anyways but thought id give it a chance.. still, nothing!

So I thought its better to be safe then sorry! So I started getting dressed and told Kevin we need to go to St. Johns! So we were off to the hospital. I dont think we really said a word the whole way there! Straight down Lewis street.. speed limit is like 45/35, apparently I was almost to 60 (I didnt know it, kevin told me later! HAHA) He said i looked too concentrated on my driving to say anything!

We got to the Labor and delivery area at the hospital.. luckily its not a busy area.. so they got me right into triage, had me put on a robe and lay down... took my blood pressure, she asked "is your blood pressure normally good?" and I'm all "yeah" it was like 190 over something when they took it.. LOL.

She then said shes gonna put the monitor on my belly but warned us she might not get it right away (I guess so we dont freak) and she put it on me and immediately we started to hear "thump thump thump" we both let out a sigh of relief!!! I've never been so happy to hear that thump! Her heart rate was fine and was actually normal! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

They kept me on the monitor for an hour total. I swear, she had the perfect "non-stress test".. I always told the docs, if they'd schedule me for like midnight or later for my NST, they'd get great results! I wasnt joking! Its like the best test ive ever seen from her! And i have those tests once a week! Even the nurse said she looks awesome!!!!

They took my blood pressure 3 times and it just kept going down and down and I think when we left it was like 117 over something.. whatever, it was "normal" She's not even born yet and she's already gonna give us a heartattack!

So after last night.. I'm more open to the idea of induction! I just want her out so I know she's safe!!! That was really really scary thinking something could be wrong with her!

Today she's throwing a party tho.. bouncing all around having a good ol' time! Its weird now shes bouncy one day and lays low the next, then has bounce fest the next day! I dont get that girl!

We had to run some errons today.. but after we ate, we went grocery shopping.. that was horrible, i was SO FULL from lunch and since shes so high up now, she pushes my insides to my lungs and makes it hard to breath! So I was huffing and puffing thru the store, plus I was having contractions on top of it.. so I was tired, huffy, puffy, in pain, just wanting to get the food and go! I told Kevin "make this quick" luckily I made it! I think next time I'm gonna get that motorized skooter... I was really thinking about it today, but didnt want to be a wimp... screw that, next time i'll just be a wimp :P hahhaha.

At the store the people in front of me were talking about cigarettes.. and I think the son said something like "we should stop talking about cigarettes in front of the pregnant lady" or something like that, and she turned to her son and says "she's not pregnant" and the son is like "uh huh!" so she looks at me and goes "are you expecting?" and I'm like "uhh yeah!" and she asked when, and I told her in 2 weeks and she actually told me "wow you are so small" what was she smoking?? HAHA.. seriously! I feel like a HOUSE! Ive always held my weight in my stomach but yeah, never this much weight!!! HAHA.

My OB said I've gained alot of weight in the past few weeks.. (I HAVE) considering I had gastric bypass and my tummy is tiny, I have NO IDEA how i've gained SO MUCH! I wont even say how much I've gained, lets put it this way, its a lot more then whats recommended for someone "normal"....

Dr. Noland said it has to be water weight that ive gained tho! I am just, so incredibly swollen! Ive been extremely swollen since like the first week of March! I didnt realize how bad I had gotten till I saw my pictures from the baby shower! HAHA. And its not going away! My legs, ankles, toes, all are huge! I finally had to take off my wedding ring and promise ring because if I have a c-section they're going to make me take them off and it was next to impossible to get them off now!

On the downside of life, I gave my medical doctor a list of all my medications I was on pre-pregnancy and she mailed it back today with her comments and basically any medication I feel I absolutely need says "not recommended" for breast feeding :( Very disappointing!!! So I don't know what I'm going to do now! Invest in a lot more bottles? Considering we have, umm.. 2! hahahah

I guess I was kinda stupid to even think that Id get to breast feed with my medications.. I just had high hopes!!! I guess I thought that I could go without meds too, but according to my doc I have like an 80% chance of that postpardum depression (YEAH ME!) And I read that a mommy with depression doesnt connect well with her baby which can cause a lot of problems down the line!!!

So... lets recap..

I wanted a natural, drug free birth.. more then likely I'll be induced, meaning I"ll be given Pitocin (which I do NOT want) and that means the pains will be WAY worse, meaning I'll probably give in to an epidural! that is if I dont need a c-section!

I wanted to exclusively breast feed and I wanted to stay OFF all my medications. But.. that's not looking too promising about the meds, and the meds arent looking like they're going to work with breast feeding.

So, the two major things I really wanted outta this child birth experience are being taken away.. not to mention I've been high risk this whole time because of the wonderful blood clotting disorder I found out I had while being pregnant!

OH WELL....

As long as she is born HEALTHY, I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will get chopped open by the doc, I will bottle feed, I will take my medications like a good little Mommy.. I will do ANYTHING as long as she is just healthy! I won't even COMPLAIN about it all as long as she is healthy! And all this scary crap with the high risk stuff will have been worth it!

After watching one of those stupid Baby shows on discovery channel, I feel pretty darn lucky to even be having my baby girl! They had a lady on there who apparently has the same blood disorder they said I have (that APS or whatever they told me it is .. its in a previous blog).. but she couldnt carry her babies past the first trimester and she'd lose them! So I guess I'm pretty fortunate to begin with!! (she did have the APS much worse then I have it tho!)....

I just realized, its the first of April.. well. I knew that, but I looked at the calendar and went WOW.. she'll be here in 2 weeks! if not sooner! They will NOT let me go past the due date, they dont even want me to go TO the due date... so I'm thinking in less then 2 weeks, she will be here.. how freakin scary is that??? :) HAHA...

I'm still not 100% ready for her.. my apartment is all cluttered, her room still isnt fully finished, all her clothes arent all hung, her sheets arent all put up, her bassinet isnt put together yet... UGH! And I had NO IDEA how much my energy would disappear out of nowhere.. and I mean, nowhere!

I mean, generally, we're ready.. but its not as ready as I wanted to be for when she got here! We'll live I guess :)

If the doc gives me a choice on an induction day, I'm planning on telling her the 14th. (SORRY HILLARY - HAHAHA she wants Victoria to be born on her bday) hahah. *I* want the 7th, but thats kinda like, THIS tuesday! Yeah! HAHA. So we'll see what happens after my doc appointment on Monday!!

This is a longer blog then I intended!